7 Shocking Facts about French People
How many cliches and stereotypes can you name about French people?
If you’re French, how many times have you heard that we’re supposed to smell horrible YET at the same time French women are the elegant on Earth? And all our French perfume?
(Please someone explain to me how the two can go together.)
If you’re not French you might think our favourite thing to say is “Hon, hon, hon” (we DON’T), and “Omelette du fromage” (we say Omelette AU fromage, dammit Dexter).
All in all, cliches and stereotypes about the French are so widely popular and hilarious we decided we needed to set the record straight about a couple of them.
You might be surprised.
French People Do Shower
Yeah, I like to start brutally and be shockingly honest.
I honestly laughed out loud reading the Urban Dictionary definition of French shower (the act of putting perfume on instead of having a shower) : “This is what sloppy meth whores and the like do before they go on a date.” How lovely!
Alright, big shocker guys. Not many people are aware of this, but French people do take regular showers, I would push it to even say daily, and we are NOT dirty! (ok, maybe in bed…)
Actually, according to the undeniably reliable source Daily Mail, 11,5% of French people shower more than once a day. Who would have thought that! And why are some showering twice a day? All that dirty, clean sex thats why!
French People Do Speak English
Alright, this one is tricky. Not to blame my fellow Frenchies, but most of us have this intrinsic pride of being French and speaking our beloved “pretty sounding” language, and some don’t see the point in making the effort to learn another one.
This coupled with our awful school system and barely-speaking-english teachers, results in a national shame when it comes to speaking English in public.
We are told our accent is lovely/charming/hot, but back in school it was the most shameful thing and no one really dared to speak out loud and practice. The only time we were fluent is while *tipsy*, which I think is not just a French thing, we’re just cuter doing it.
Anywho, I learned how to speak English when I was 20, away from home in Holland knowing no one, and making friends with people who understood nothing of what I was trying to say, and vice versa. Eh, you’ll learn, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and remember Frenchies, your accent is LOVELAY.
French Women Are Not Hairy
In France, ironically, we think German and Portuguese are the hairy ones.
So, I know, back in the days, in the 70’s or so, French women were exhibiting their hairy armpits with pride. But guys, that was 50 YEARS AGO! And PS, women were hairy in every. single. other. country.
It’s no longer the case, and check whenever you want, I dare you to find someone hairy at the beach in France. If the woman is less than 50, that is. We’re so hairless, many French men even shave their armpits, so take that! (as odd as it may be)
French People Eat Weird Stuff
Frogs, Snails, Blue Cheese, you name it. Don’t be shocked, but as a Frenchie, born and brought up in France, I’m sorry to tell you I have never tried unusual French food such as frogs or snails. Disappointed much?
It doesn’t appeal to me to be honest, but I’m not your typical French person, I don’t even know how to cook properly, SACREBLEU! I did eat a fried scorpion in Bangkok, Thailand, so maybe one day! FYI, I heard frog’s legs taste like chicken and snails like garlic butter. Could be worse!
French Women Are Not Easy
All around the world, if you tell anyone that you’re French, you WILL hear the first knob trying to speak French and say “Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir” meaning, a classy: “Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” That does NOT help swooning the French ladies. And we might fake a smile, tilt our head and be like, “Oh, well done!” but French women have heard that 1,000 times so this trick doesn’t work….often.
Insider tip – to swoon a French women, nothing works better than saying a random word in French and KEEPING your accent. “Chaise en bois”, “Boite en carton”, anything.
“Ecureuil” is a good start (GOOD LUCK, IT’S THE HARDEST FRENCH WORD TO PRONOUNCE – French are sadists).
Baguette, Berets, Moustaches and Striped shirts
Again, guys, berets & staches are a thing of the past, only our grandfathers still proudly wear them while playing Petanque. That being said, we do wear a certain amount of striped clothes, and we might jump in excitement every time we see/smell/hear the word/ BAGUETTE. I mean come on, baguettes are delicious, and the smell of fresh baguette in the morning might be the best thing to wake up to, and be honest, I look goddamn gorgeous in that striped shirt.
I have myself teared up a little bit (out of joy), not once but twice, at the mention of “baguette”. Jeff laughed at me, I was proud and a little emotional. Kinda when you hear your anthem away from home, but, erm, with bread. I came across a mini baguette last weekend, and tears of cuteness were shed, not gonna lie.
(Jeff here, this did happen, it was pathetically cute.)
French People Aren’t THAT Rude
We like to think that we’re brutally honest, proud (disputably) and we don’t sugarcoat things. But mostly, yeah, I guess French people can come off rude.
We’re just being sarcastic mostly. Apart from the time we’re honest, I mean.
I would like to think I don’t really care, but deep inside, I don’t give a f*c*.
Any comments or other cliche you might have heard about French people? Let’s discuss them in the comments!
Bonus: French Language is NOT that complicated…