6 Reasons Why Dogs are Way Better than Cats

6 Reasons Why Dogs are Way Better than Cats

6 Reasons Why Dogs are Way Better than Cats

So you get it, I’m more of a dog person, but come on, how can you not be? Cats suck. All want to do is plan your demise and pee in your shoes. I shouldn’t even have to write this article, but if you are dumb enough to be in love with a cat, please read on.

Here are five reasons why cats suck and dogs truly deserve their just title of man’s best friend.

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule
Seriously.

Their Loyalty

Sure a cat requires less walking, affection or supervision, but being less demanding means also less giving. I swear, if cats could talk, they’d say “Im being nice to you human, but if you annoy me, I will bring you a dead mouse for breakfast.” (Actually, this has been proven to be a sign of love. Exactly, What The Fuck.)

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule
P’aww. Sorry.

 

Their Skills

A dog can learn his name, do some tricks, be part of a police squad or even guide people. A cat? The only place it’ll guide you is to his food bowl, and off a cliff, because cats are assholes.

Dogs actually make it a habit to routinely save peoples lives, rescue babies, defend entire families and solve crimes! Cats only set traps for their owners, plot the end of the world and smell horrific. The only thing worse than a cat is a cat owner, an overly excited cat owner. OMG, you have to see this photo of TiddleDicks, looks at him!  … fuck off.

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule
Little cutie.

Their Love

Your dog will love you no matter what and will be overly excited to see you if you leave for 5 minutes or two weeks. If you are ever sad, angry, happy, etc a dog will know exactly how to act, whether it is with excitement or to comfort you when you are down.

A cat will look at you like he’s never seen you, watch you sleep, poop in a box that YOU have to clean up and barf on your dry cleaning. What a dick.

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule
Not a single fuck is given.

Their Look

Some dogs look funny, some look cute and some look goofy, but no matter what, you know they haven’t spent all day planning to murder you and your children. Make a funny noise and they’ll look all confused and cute and be ready to play in no time. But have a look at any cat…

Most cats have this devilish-plotting look on their faces. All. The. Time. Talk about a resting bitch face. Creepy !

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule
Creep.

Play time

All dogs want to do is play. Whether its with their tail, shadow, a dirty diaper, ANYTHING can be a toy, how cool is that!

Have you ever tried to throw a stick to a cat ? Please try. You will be surprised at how well you can actually see the cat thinking “Kindly go fuck yourself.”

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule

Protective

Whenever you are walking your dog, you feel protected. No matter if it’s a small chihuahua or a big lab, it’ll be there for you if you feel threatened. A cat, again, couldn’t care less about your safety.

Unless you have food, in which case, it’ll defend the food. Point proven.

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule
Can’t take it.

What about you, are you more of a cat person ? Eh never say never…. but remember, all kittens turn into cats.

6 Reasons Why Cats Suck and Dogs Rule

 

21 comments

  1. An Escapee says:

    I disagree. Dogs are far too insecure. In fact, what dog lovers call loyalty is insecurity, and small dogs are the worst offenders. Big and medium dogs are, for the most part alright, but small dogs are worse than cats by far. All hassle, no reward.

  2. Haha I totally agree! Dogs are the best! I have 2 and they are so sweet and kind, all the cats I’ve ever owned were huge dicks. To quote Ron Swanson “Any dog under 50 lbs is a cat and cats are useless.”

  3. CatoWolf says:

    CATS SUCK AND ARE A WASTE OF AIR. THERE IS A PARASITE IN YOUR BRIAN MAKING YOU THINK THAT THEY ARE CUTE! THEY SLEEP FOR 20 HOURS TOO. IF YOU ARE IN A HO– USE WITH A CAT AND YOU DIE THE CAT WILL EAT YOU> THEY ONLY WANT FOOD FROM YOU THOSE JERKS. I HATE CATS. My neighbor has 12.. used to have 15.. (I have a dog :D)

    • CATS>DOGS says:

      ya and that is what stupid dog lovers want you to think cause “30 out of 50 people infected” ya more people like dogs so that parasite probably makes you like dogs more then cats my doctor would say if i had a parasite also dogs will eat you too and they actually help prevent disease spread by rats so if anything dogs are a parasite that infects your mind to gain there trust

      • “Toxoplasmosis is a disease caused by the parasite Toxoplasma gondii, which can be found in garden soil and raw meat. Cats can get toxoplasma infection by killing and eating infected prey. The disease can also be passed on from cats to humans. Dogs carry no communicable diseases to humans.”

  4. Vivek says:

    I cannot talk for cats. Never liked them. Never owned them. And that picture of the cat sitting and dozing on the guy’s face with a caption saying “Not a fuck is given” – LOL, I wasted myself laughing on that!! I had a girlfriend who owned several cats (3 if i remember correctly).. Two of them ran away and the other one died of dog bite (He.. he..:D) I completely agree with every single point made here. There was never a time when i didn’t own a dog in my life. In fact, it is the only subject on which me and my parents can talk without one of us wanting to stab the rest or pull our eyes out. All three of us(me, dad, mom) are dog lovers. Yeah, they sometime pee and poo and give you a hard time. But their hearts are made of gold, if you know what i mean. There are times when i have contemplated taking my life… hard times they were and i shit you not, dogs were my sole companions and consolations… dogs rule…

  5. Jenny says:

    I think the more cats a person gets, the more insane they become. The parasite gets into their brain and programs them to GET MORE CATS. So the parasite can reproduce in the other cats. The Cat-natics (cat fanatics) that I know are okay people, but talk about cats and they go insane, it’s worse than a coke addiction, or even diet soda addiction. It’s like these cat nuts also seem to hate humans, and only like cats. Why don’t they just adopt a surly teenager, at least with that they might be able to get them to at least sweep the floor or something. I love animals don’t get me wrong (even liked a few cats, but they weren’t mind and I never ever ever had one as a ‘pet’- only had dogs) but it seems like some cat people just become so utterly obsessed about cats (why cats, why not like, cheese whiz or something at least that pretends to be useful?), and they seem to hate humans even more (I blame the brain parasite). In my travels, I heard that when communism was instituted in Cuba, that the poor people were desperate for food, so the alley cats started disappearing. I also heard that in S. America that they eat them (haunches mostly, since as cats are pretty useless they don’t have much meat on them). The lady said they taste like beef. I figured they would taste like fish. Go figure.

  6. John McCann says:

    You are correct in all but the ability of cats to plan anything.

    They do wish for our demise but their lack of intelligence does not allow for even the most simple planning our our murder.

    Cats just have a brutal,primitive hatred for all, lacking any intellectual subtlety.

  7. Crocoduck says:

    I FUCKING hate cats. Not because they aren’t loyal or Shit, but because my Neighbour’s cat came over, vandalised my brand new fucking car and my wall, AND then proceeded to murder my fucking beloved Arowana. That fish cost me a hell fucking lot, and the bitchy cat didn’t even finish it, just left it there like, fuck this shit. So in short, FUCK CATS.

  8. David Jones says:

    Cat people are the reason the world sucks. They are whiny and bitchy and moody, and just generally messed up people. And every social justice warrior I’ve ever known had a cat. Seriously. They are messed up people.

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