6 Reasons Why Dogs are Way Better than Cats
So you get it, I’m more of a dog person, but come on, how can you not be? Cats suck. All want to do is plan your demise and pee in your shoes. I shouldn’t even have to write this article, but if you are dumb enough to be in love with a cat, please read on.
Here are five reasons why cats suck and dogs truly deserve their just title of man’s best friend.
Sure a cat requires less walking, affection or supervision, but being less demanding means also less giving. I swear, if cats could talk, they’d say “Im being nice to you human, but if you annoy me, I will bring you a dead mouse for breakfast.” (Actually, this has been proven to be a sign of love. Exactly, What The Fuck.)
A dog can learn his name, do some tricks, be part of a police squad or even guide people. A cat? The only place it’ll guide you is to his food bowl, and off a cliff, because cats are assholes.
Dogs actually make it a habit to routinely save peoples lives, rescue babies, defend entire families and solve crimes! Cats only set traps for their owners, plot the end of the world and smell horrific. The only thing worse than a cat is a cat owner, an overly excited cat owner. OMG, you have to see this photo of TiddleDicks, looks at him! … fuck off.
Your dog will love you no matter what and will be overly excited to see you if you leave for 5 minutes or two weeks. If you are ever sad, angry, happy, etc a dog will know exactly how to act, whether it is with excitement or to comfort you when you are down.
A cat will look at you like he’s never seen you, watch you sleep, poop in a box that YOU have to clean up and barf on your dry cleaning. What a dick.
Some dogs look funny, some look cute and some look goofy, but no matter what, you know they haven’t spent all day planning to murder you and your children. Make a funny noise and they’ll look all confused and cute and be ready to play in no time. But have a look at any cat…
Most cats have this devilish-plotting look on their faces. All. The. Time. Talk about a resting bitch face. Creepy !
All dogs want to do is play. Whether its with their tail, shadow, a dirty diaper, ANYTHING can be a toy, how cool is that!
Have you ever tried to throw a stick to a cat ? Please try. You will be surprised at how well you can actually see the cat thinking “Kindly go fuck yourself.”
Whenever you are walking your dog, you feel protected. No matter if it’s a small chihuahua or a big lab, it’ll be there for you if you feel threatened. A cat, again, couldn’t care less about your safety.
Unless you have food, in which case, it’ll defend the food. Point proven.
What about you, are you more of a cat person ? Eh never say never…. but remember, all kittens turn into cats.