5 Reasons Why Paris Actually Sucks

5 Reasons Why Paris Actually Sucks

5 Reasons Why Paris Actually Sucks

I see you coming already. Paris, the city of love in the most beautiful country in the world. So before anything, I’m 100% French, meaning two things : I will happily say my country sucks, but I will insult you if you dare saying the same. That being said, there’s a particular saying I am fan of : “God created France, and realizing how unfair it was for other countries, he created French people.” French stereotypes will be the object of another article because I can’t decently cover it in half a page !

Lets get started ; Why does Paris actually suck?

The Eiffel Tower

I’m genuinely interested in why people think it’s beautiful. I mean, come on, no disrespect to Mr Eiffel, but its pretty much a steel penis. There, I said it. Let’s not forget the hours queuing to get the chance to climb it, or the numerous fake goods sold t the bottom of it. If you really like it, stick to the touristy pictures where you pretend touching it or lean on it, thank you very much.

The Metro

Where to start. Having to take the metro daily is honestly something I am not jealous of. Sure, the station signs are quite cool, but remember, never seat on the station seats (you’ll catch some sort of disease, I swear) and make sure you never wear a skirt or anything somewhat revealing if you’re a woman. If you’re a man, it’s fine, I guess. You can never be sure.

The Streets

It’s probably my Dubai resident side speaking, and of course depends on neighborhoods and timings, but I very rarely felt safe in the streets of Paris. Having to hold tightly to your bags and belongings and being paranoid of everyone walking near you is a very particular feeling that I’m not personally fond of.


The Taxis

Oh the taxi drivers. A legend, for many reasons. When you are lucky enough to get a taxi that will take you and actually bring you where you want, you’re particularly fortunate if the said taxi is not being rude or a plain dick.

The Cost Of Life

Life is expensive in Paris. This is the case for many cities in the world, London, Singapore or Dubai to name a few. But Paris is ridiculously expensive. As an example, it’s not uncommon to find 9m2 appartments (the minimum allowed by law) for rent for close to 1000 Euros. Also, you better get your file ready with your parents revenues for the last 30 years if you want to be considered as a potential tenant. Looking for a decent place in Paris ? Good luck.

The People

Grumpy French President


Last but not least. Parisian people. I dont mean no disrespect as this applies to most French people, but God can some be rude and close minded. I dont know if its the fact to live in such an overrated place that made you feel like everyone else that doesnt have the privilege to live in Paris is some sort of loser, but seriously guys, chill the fuck out.


    • whatdoesntsuck says:

      Hah merci de ton ouverture d’esprit! J’espere que le reste du blog te plaira, reste connecté pour de nouveaux articles remplis d’ironie et de second degré 🙂

  1. Bedazzled_b says:

    I came here to argue with you to the death, reading the article but you’ve silenced me utterly and completely (doesn’t happen often:)
    Hilarious take on some things that only a local would catch on!

  2. Kacy says:

    Haha, I like the honesty. I’ve sometimes wondered if Paris is not overrated, but I still feel that I need to see it to judge for myself 🙂

  3. Shaw says:

    Paris would be better without u all Dubai people. It amazes me how many of u color people will leave their shit hole countries for white countries; then insult them. U lose.

  4. livefors says:

    it’s not “close minded” it’s called raaaaaciiiiiiiist .And it’s backed up by my experience as a french mixed-skin guys you lived there for 10 years and is still living there . Yes, nobody tells me where i belong.

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