The 18 Worst Travel Tattoos I’ve Ever Seen
Do I have tattoos inspired by travel? Yup. Did I even get one in Thailand? I sure did.
But, do they suck as much as the ones below? Not. Even. Close. These are the worst travel tattoos I’ve ever seen, and you won’t believe how horrific some of them are.
All the classics are in here from cliche, overdone themes to spelling mistakes and the classically horrible animal renditions – truly the worst travel tattoos on Earth.
1 – Fat Dolphins
Let’s get started with an absolute classic! People have been loving dolphins for centuries, and for good cause. Dolphins are adorable and magical sea creatures – but why the hell do so many people get them tattooed?
I get it, the represent your desire to be free and jumping through the waves, far away from your office desk and Greg from accounting – Greg is soooo creepy – but please, let us know in other ways. Plus, you’ve gained a few since you got that dolphin tattoo when you were 18 so let’s be honest, it looks more like a while now.
2 – Public Transportation
Now this one has me torn, because as a Washington, DC native I instantly recognize the amazing metro system I was raised riding. However, no one in the world LIKES taking public transportation as it is reserved exclusively for peasants and bums (right?) so why in the world anyone would get this inked on them is beyond me. What really annoys me is that metro systems the world over are COLOR based, so if you were stupid enough to get this tattooed at least get it in color!
I hope the lucky lady who decided this was a good idea followed the red line right up to Silver Spring and got this removed, but I know she didn’t because she couldn’t find the red line as it is all grey!
3 – Spelling Mistakes
If you are a tattoo artist you should be terrified to make a spelling mistake in your art. After all, a tattoo does not have spell check or autocorrect and you will look like a complete idiot with a misspelled tattoo. But people, come on, you can’t trust your tattoo artist to get it right, you approved it after all. So no matter how poetic or meaningful that saying is, if it has extra or misplaced letters you instantly lose all credibility. Period end.
4 – Zombie Koala and Kenny the Tiger
Ok, these are just plain awful. I wish I wanted to know the story behind asking a tattoo artist to permanently ink a zombie koala bear on you, or better yet get a down syndrome tiger but to be honest I don’t want anything to do with either of these people.
I have visions of them living in a trailer, drinking stale beer and know for certain that neither has ever even seen either animal in real life. No clue what either “represent man” and I have no desire to. I’m just glad I won’t run into you on the road, because you certainly don’t travel.
5. Magic (mushrooms) Trip
This is just stupid. We get it, you went somewhere once. Or maybe better yet, you didn’t, and someone just sent you a post card. Why not just go yourself, take a picture and pin it on your wall instead of your forearm. Luckily we won’t see you out on the road because you clearly just went on a trip in your head and most likely never left your friends back yard to do so.
Travel isn’t something you do once when you’re 21 and then spend the rest of your life looking down at your forearm to remind your old, fat, boring self how cool you used to be.
Nope, blackface is never ok. I dare you to travel with that and see what happens. You might be putting out a call to find people to travel with, but you never will. Please just travel to your racist parents basement and stay there.
This word needs to die. It was cute for about 15 minutes in 1998 when the first couple travel blogs started popping up, but this one word has taken over the travel world as the go to word to show the world just how much you “like totally love traveling”. PLEASE stop using it.
Especially all you girls who studied abroad in Rome for 1 semester and got this when you came home to Pennsylvania or Illinois. No, that doesn’t count. Your wanderlust lasted about as long as your hangover from the night you met some “locals” and thought they were all your new best friends. Let’s be honest, none of them liked you so please go “wander” back home and never have that wanderlust urge to hit the road ever again.
8. Road Trip Disaster
By the looks of these they appear to be Americans, so I’m not surprised but I sure am embarrassed. First of all, for the brilliant guy filling in each state he goes to with the flag, have fun when you get to New England – that’ll be a disaster.
And to the Route 66 idiot, PLEASE tell us each mark on here represents when you stopped to take a shit, because thats about as much as anyone cares about your stories.
9. Passport Stamps
Ugh. Just ugh. We get it, your passport has stamps in it. Hey, everyone loves passport stamps, I collect them myself. And you know what I do with them? Nothing! I scroll through them when I am waiting in customs and thats about it because you know what? NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR TRAVELS, just deal with it.
Think they’ll be a cool conversation starter during the full moon party on the beach in Thailand? Well, you’re right, you’ll be in good company surrounded by the biggest cliche traveling idiots on Earth – have fun.
And to the girl with the postal stamp – I can see why you wanted to leave Buffalo but please, please just go back and stay there, I’m sure the Bills will win a Super Bowl one day. (Muahahahaha, no they won’t)
10. Waaaaay Too Much
Bro, leave some of the story to tell us. To be honest, no one wants to look at your fat back, but you could have left some of the details of the story to the imagination. I thought the Trail of Tears was horrific, just wait until a Native American sees this mess – they’ll really start weeping.
Yea, yea, travel symbols are all the rage right now in travel tattoos, we get it. But just pick one, seriously. Get a little airplane on your finger, a compass on your ankle, you’ll be the “cool girl who travels” at work, but getting ALL the cliche symbols just sprinkled on one of your arms?
After 18 months you’ll be hoping you pull a 27 hours and have to cut off the whole thing, and we will too.
And do I need to even say anything about the airport codes? I mean this has got to be one of the worst travel tattoos of all time without question. Good luck trying to tell those airport police that you “haven’t ever even been to Thailand”, its on your FUC*@&$ arm!
12. You Asshole
J.M. Barrie uttered one of our all time favorite travel quotes, “to live would be an awfully big adventure” and this a-hole has had to go and completely ruin it for everyone. Did you think it would be funny? Ironic?
You know what, we don’t care, so go find out for us. Go play in traffic, take a long walk off a short pier and head off on that adventure. Alone.